Ramblings about orphan Sunday

Orphan Sunday...
That word, orphan, just hits me in the gut.
I suppose because some of the most the important people in my life were considered orphans...
Only they're not. They're certainly not orphaned in the way I think of.
Growing up I thought of orphans as children who's parents had died. Honestly most of my experience with the word orphan came from Disney movies. It's a time honored way to make a Disney movie.
But that's not my boys.
My boys were all loved. I love them fiercely with a momma's love, but I'm not the only momma. The details of those stories are not mine to tell, but I know that their other mommas love them. And the word orphan gives me pause because I never want to forget that those women are mommas to my boys too.

I know that in a perfect world my boys would not be giggling in my backyard and eating me out of house and home this morning. In a perfect world they would be with their first mommas.
Adoption starts with tragedy, always. It's always a tragedy when mother and child are separated, no matter the reason.
My children are not 'lucky' because they were adopted. 'Lucky' is the child who never needs to be adopted. My children are loved, wanted and adored. But that should be true of every child not a reason to be called lucky.
And they should never be expected to feel grateful to me that I adopted them. Grateful that I changed their diapers and braved the lego covered floor barefoot when they needed me, sure. But they are inherently deserving of love, deserving of a family. Christ died on a cross for them. They are fearfully and wonderfully made. I will take their gratitude for parenting them. They don't need to be grateful for adoption.
And while we're on the subject, can I also say the word orphan tends to lend itself to the idea that they need saving. They don't need a saviour apart from Jesus.
They do need a family. I believe the there's this lie of the adoption day and happily ever after. That's not true. It's a beautiful day, but at the end of it a family of imperfect people go home to an imperfect world. And after that we just call it parenting.
There also seems to be this notion that those who adopt are somehow saints or have some special calling on our lives. We aren't. And we don't.

We're willing. That's pretty much it. We're afraid. It's scary and unknown. And so many days we have no clue what we're doing. But we're parents. And parents change diapers, sign school folders and go to court if that's what our child needs.

Adopted families are just like everyone else's only different. We're the same in that we love each other. Biology is not a prerequisite for love. We're different in that some of the challenges are unique to adoption. These sweet babes have suffered trauma. Make no mistake that adoption involves trauma. It just does. So we love our kids. We do all the mundane things every family does. And sometimes things are a little different.
But please know that adoption is the most beautifully bittersweet thing I've ever known.
Please know that adoption is hard and scary and unbelievably worth it.
And here's the amazing part. You get to love, not just a child. You get to love your child. Those are my boys. I am their momma. Adoption will change your family. It will be a part of your child's story. But it will not define your family. It will not define your child.
Please know that you can do it. Yes you...
Pray the big scary prayers where you ask God if adoption is part of your story. Ask.
Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't, but ask. Because the number of children without a family while the church sits by just can't be a part of God's plan. It just can't.